The Play Room of Kathy Milans

Kathy Milans, Asbury alumna (2004)

Each time five year old James enters the counseling playroom, he heads straight to the handcuffs and roughly cuffs the male doll to the leg of the chair. With a sword hooked on his belt loop, this small, blonde headed boy begins to play out his confusion of living in a world of good and evil. Battles ensue and bad guys are buried in the sandtray.

At the end of his play session, I hand James a magic wand and ask what he would like to change about the story that he just played out. James ponders for a moment, places a cross in the center of the sandtray, and boldly announces, “I want Jesus to help me feel safe.” Such is a typical session that takes place in my counseling office, Path of Life Ministry, in Wilmore, Kentucky.

Play therapy is to children what talk counseling is to adults as play is the natural language of children. I assist children in making sense of their fears, problems, frustrations and memories by using materials such as games, puppets, blocks, dolls, crayons, books, and a sandtray. These media engage children in releasing anxieties, resolving conflicts, learning communication skills, enhancing coping abilities and facilitating other life skills which lead to improved social functioning and self awareness.

But, our God is very real to children.  Play therapy alone isn’t enough. Some children say they can hear His voice and others report seeing Jesus’ face. For James, placing the cross in the center of the sandtray represents a sense of security, love, and peace which only God, the Wonderful Counselor can provide. I believe play therapy is an effective mode of healing only in combination with recognizing and supporting the spiritual needs of the child.

A play orientation to therapy came easily to me after 24 years as an early childhood educator. My call to seminary came in 2002 when God nudged me from teaching in sunny Florida to move to Kentucky and begin a second career as a counselor. Two churches and a Christian women’s group assisted with my tuition so that I could fully delve into seminary life to be molded and shaped for this unique ministry.

The education provided by Asbury Seminary gave me a strong foundation in theological and psychological integration so that I could become licensed as a KY Fee Based Certified Pastoral Counselor and later become the first Pastoral Counselor ever to become a Registered Play Therapist with the American Association of Play Therapy. Since 2004, I have provided care on a sliding scale basis for over 460 individuals, families, and children who cannot afford the typical high fees for such services.

When people hear of “Asbury Seminary”, they usually think of training pastors. I encourage you to consider a new and broader paradigm to include those of us from the counseling program, who minister to hurting men, women, and especially children, helping them to reshape their life stories in ways that reflect God’s love, mercy, and grace upon their lives.

In Mark 10:13-14, it is recorded, “People brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom.” (The Message)